i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
