I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
