you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
