Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We need to rekindle our bromance
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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