You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
