There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
