he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
