wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
