I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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