you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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