He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What a dumb baby whore.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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