Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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