So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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