We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
