btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
