Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
