I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
