Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize