Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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