I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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