Banned from zoo.
Again?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and she was petting her beer can
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
