Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
