my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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