just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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