Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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