508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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