White coat. Heels.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
