I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize