marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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