Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
