Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
