Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
