In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
