you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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