I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
