Moan for me like Helen Keller
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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