I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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