just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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