Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
