my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just want nice things and good sex
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
