You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
