I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
