oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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