Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
