She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
