dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
