i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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