Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This baby is an asshole
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
