i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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