with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize