Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
