Porn is love you can see.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
