She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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