Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize