So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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