ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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