So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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